Going home...

Well, it looks like I'm going to be heading home to the U.S. next Wednesday. Why all the sudden you might ask? It's not all of the sudden at all. It's been ongoing since about month after I first got here to Lahore. I've tried so hard to make a life for myself here. It's not easy at all and the emotional stress is just about to take it's toll on me. It has basically gotten to the point where every 2 weeks I'm telling Shakil that I want to go home. I honestly don't know how Shakil has put up with my temper as well as my ups and downs here. I was planning to go home in November for a visit but I see that going now will benefit me more.

I plan to stay in the U.S. until we get a decision from the Embassy. Shakil and I have discussed this issue of me leaving so many times and believe me he doesn't want me to leave at all. But it's just gotten to the point where I have to. It's not that I don't love my hubby with all my heart or that I'm giving up on my marriage. We have been through some tough stuff in our almost 1 1/2 years of marriage and I know we can get through all of this. Immigration is just horrible and it's a shame that they have to control your life the way that they do.

If for some reason they do deny his visa - which I have a damn good hardship letter and other medical documentation that they shouldn't. I feel it in my heart that they will grant that visa and Shakil and I will be given the life in the U.S. like we deserve. He has suffered the consequences in more ways than one for his actions with his overstay, etc. I wish that I could take him with me and we wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I know in my heart that he will be with me back in the U.S. I just know it.

God knows I wish I didn't have to leave but this is what it has come to.

I talked to my Mom this evening and told her that I will for sure be leaving. She is just ecstatic about my return. I can't wait to see her when I walk out of the gate in the airport.

Until later...

Bye for now.