Would you ever move back to Pakistan?
This question came up in a yahoo group I belong to and I think it is a really good question. So, I decided to discuss it here on my blog.
When I met my husband in 2003, I knew nothing of the Pakistani culture and when I went to Pakistan in 2004 and got married there - it was a big culture shock I must say. It's not just the culture shock though, it's just all over different there. Which I knew was to be expected but until you get there - you just have no idea.
Poverty is overwhelming in Pakistan. I know there is poverty everywhere and I'm not just singling out Pakistan by any means. It goes without notice there. You see extreme poverty. I've seen poverty here in the U.S. but it's nothing like I saw there. I feel so bad for all the innocent men, women, children and babies there that have no home, no food, no nothing. They have the clothes on their backs and that's it. I've seen many living under a cloth that had been hung over some poles. They are living on the side of the road having to sleep there, eat there, bathe there. Very, very upsetting to see. It really does put things in perspective for you. It makes you more thankful for every little thing you have and to never take things for granted.
Family is big in Pakistan. What I mean by "big" is that there is a lot of closeness. I admire that immensely. Shakil sees so many of his aunts, uncles, cousins and more extended family several times a week. In my family, I'm lucky if I see my brothers once a month, not to mention my extended family - it's even longer than that since I've seen them. All of Shakil's family does live in close proximity of one another but my brothers are only about 30 to 45 minutes away and I think they could make it over here to my Mom's more than just on holidays. 2 of Shakil's mamu's (which would be his uncles but really means "Mom's brother") go visit their father every morning before work from what I've heard and observed. I think that is just wonderful. You can really feel the closeness in the family.
Life is much more simple. I think that people there can really take the time to stop and smell the roses. For most, the working day starts well after 10 a.m. I do know that some start earlier but again, I'm just going by what I've seen and observed. Most businesses do stay open later - well after 9 p.m. Friday's in Pakistan are a whole different story. Friday's in Pakistan are much more laid back and relaxed. ***Jumu'ah also known as Friday prayer is a congregational prayer that Muslims hold every Friday just after noon. It replaces the Zuhr prayer performed on other days of the week and is obligatory for all Muslim males who are residing, pubescent and unexcused. It is an obligation for men to pray the Friday prayer in congregation at a Mosque. It is recommended that Muslim women perform the prayer in congregation, but they have the option of performing the Zuhr prayer privately or in a mosque; going to the mosque is not obligatory. Businesses actually completely shutdown for Jummah prayer and re-open afterwards. I've never seen anything shutdown for prayer in the U.S. and I bet we never will. I wonder how many Muslims are given a hard time by their employer in the U.S. for needing to leave for Jummah prayer?
Cost of living. It is really much cheaper to live in Pakistan. Now, the wages are lower - much lower which would explain the cost of living being so much lower but it really is cheaper to live there than here in the U.S. Now on the other hand, I have seen things in the grocery stores be just about the same in price and most, if not all of the imported items are very pricey. It can be very cheap to go out for a meal. Shakil and I could go eat at Pizza Hut for Rs 600 which is $10 and that included a large pizza, salad and a pitcher of soda - which is a pretty good deal. We'd usually go about once a week. They have great prices on meats usually but then that comes with the hygiene standards not being so good unless you want to pay for the pricier frozen meats for example, chicken. All in all, if you buy something that is locally made, we've noticed it to be much cheaper. Petrol prices are very high there right now. Shakil tells me that it is Rs 57.79 per liter. Now that is almost 1 U.S. dollar per liter. So here in the U.S. where we use gallons - you are looking at almost $4 a gallon. Shakil thinks in some ways it all balances out in regards to the cost of living there and the cost of living here in the U.S.
Domestic help. Now this may be a touchy subject with some and please don't get offended when I explain what I've seen, done and observed. Domestic help is very common in most Pakistani homes. And in many cases, the help is from a young child at the age of 12 or 13. When I went back to Pakistan last year, Shakil arranged for some help for us. It was a female girl and she was young. She was to be a live-in. I have sort of mixed feelings about the domestic help. On one hand, you are helping them by providing them with a better living environment, clothing, healthy food and other things that are given to them. But then I felt bad because she was young and she sure shouldn't have to be working at that age. I became very fond of her and she was really a big help to me after Sara was born. She helped me with laundry, cooking and did most all of the cleaning. She would watch Sara for me while I would try to at least get a shower, she would rock her for me and just really helped me so much. I know this is a normal thing in a lot of Pakistani homes in Pakistan. I never walked into a house that didn't have some sort of domestic help.
So after going over these topics you're probably wondering if I'm ever going to answer if I would ever move back there. The answer is yes. If Shakil finds that later on down the road or just later in our life that we should move back - I'd go. I learned so much during that 1 1/2 years that I lived there and it really did take a full year to get accustomed to things and even still I'm not fully accustomed at all. I still have LOTS to learn and I'll never know it all.
Until later...
Bye for now.
***retrieved information from Wikipedia
When I met my husband in 2003, I knew nothing of the Pakistani culture and when I went to Pakistan in 2004 and got married there - it was a big culture shock I must say. It's not just the culture shock though, it's just all over different there. Which I knew was to be expected but until you get there - you just have no idea.
Poverty is overwhelming in Pakistan. I know there is poverty everywhere and I'm not just singling out Pakistan by any means. It goes without notice there. You see extreme poverty. I've seen poverty here in the U.S. but it's nothing like I saw there. I feel so bad for all the innocent men, women, children and babies there that have no home, no food, no nothing. They have the clothes on their backs and that's it. I've seen many living under a cloth that had been hung over some poles. They are living on the side of the road having to sleep there, eat there, bathe there. Very, very upsetting to see. It really does put things in perspective for you. It makes you more thankful for every little thing you have and to never take things for granted.
Family is big in Pakistan. What I mean by "big" is that there is a lot of closeness. I admire that immensely. Shakil sees so many of his aunts, uncles, cousins and more extended family several times a week. In my family, I'm lucky if I see my brothers once a month, not to mention my extended family - it's even longer than that since I've seen them. All of Shakil's family does live in close proximity of one another but my brothers are only about 30 to 45 minutes away and I think they could make it over here to my Mom's more than just on holidays. 2 of Shakil's mamu's (which would be his uncles but really means "Mom's brother") go visit their father every morning before work from what I've heard and observed. I think that is just wonderful. You can really feel the closeness in the family.
Life is much more simple. I think that people there can really take the time to stop and smell the roses. For most, the working day starts well after 10 a.m. I do know that some start earlier but again, I'm just going by what I've seen and observed. Most businesses do stay open later - well after 9 p.m. Friday's in Pakistan are a whole different story. Friday's in Pakistan are much more laid back and relaxed. ***Jumu'ah also known as Friday prayer is a congregational prayer that Muslims hold every Friday just after noon. It replaces the Zuhr prayer performed on other days of the week and is obligatory for all Muslim males who are residing, pubescent and unexcused. It is an obligation for men to pray the Friday prayer in congregation at a Mosque. It is recommended that Muslim women perform the prayer in congregation, but they have the option of performing the Zuhr prayer privately or in a mosque; going to the mosque is not obligatory. Businesses actually completely shutdown for Jummah prayer and re-open afterwards. I've never seen anything shutdown for prayer in the U.S. and I bet we never will. I wonder how many Muslims are given a hard time by their employer in the U.S. for needing to leave for Jummah prayer?
Cost of living. It is really much cheaper to live in Pakistan. Now, the wages are lower - much lower which would explain the cost of living being so much lower but it really is cheaper to live there than here in the U.S. Now on the other hand, I have seen things in the grocery stores be just about the same in price and most, if not all of the imported items are very pricey. It can be very cheap to go out for a meal. Shakil and I could go eat at Pizza Hut for Rs 600 which is $10 and that included a large pizza, salad and a pitcher of soda - which is a pretty good deal. We'd usually go about once a week. They have great prices on meats usually but then that comes with the hygiene standards not being so good unless you want to pay for the pricier frozen meats for example, chicken. All in all, if you buy something that is locally made, we've noticed it to be much cheaper. Petrol prices are very high there right now. Shakil tells me that it is Rs 57.79 per liter. Now that is almost 1 U.S. dollar per liter. So here in the U.S. where we use gallons - you are looking at almost $4 a gallon. Shakil thinks in some ways it all balances out in regards to the cost of living there and the cost of living here in the U.S.
Domestic help. Now this may be a touchy subject with some and please don't get offended when I explain what I've seen, done and observed. Domestic help is very common in most Pakistani homes. And in many cases, the help is from a young child at the age of 12 or 13. When I went back to Pakistan last year, Shakil arranged for some help for us. It was a female girl and she was young. She was to be a live-in. I have sort of mixed feelings about the domestic help. On one hand, you are helping them by providing them with a better living environment, clothing, healthy food and other things that are given to them. But then I felt bad because she was young and she sure shouldn't have to be working at that age. I became very fond of her and she was really a big help to me after Sara was born. She helped me with laundry, cooking and did most all of the cleaning. She would watch Sara for me while I would try to at least get a shower, she would rock her for me and just really helped me so much. I know this is a normal thing in a lot of Pakistani homes in Pakistan. I never walked into a house that didn't have some sort of domestic help.
So after going over these topics you're probably wondering if I'm ever going to answer if I would ever move back there. The answer is yes. If Shakil finds that later on down the road or just later in our life that we should move back - I'd go. I learned so much during that 1 1/2 years that I lived there and it really did take a full year to get accustomed to things and even still I'm not fully accustomed at all. I still have LOTS to learn and I'll never know it all.
Until later...
Bye for now.
***retrieved information from Wikipedia
posted by Tara at 10:34 AM
7 Comments:
Hi Tara,
I came across your blog and found it very interesting and enjoyed reading it. Just wanted to say a quick hi and maybe introduce myself, I'm a Pakistani, but i've lived in the US visiting pakistan every so often so your post really did strike a cord with me. Even though i've lived in the US ever since i was a toddler, living in Pakiland always seemed like an attractive option because of the laid back pace-SERVANTS COME ON how great would that be and the constant family functions that i really miss out on here. But I am used to the autonomy and independence that we get here. Oh well, I wonder where i'll actually "end up". Life's an adventure and half the fun is not knowing right?
abcdlaw - thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! :) I'm glad you enjoyed the post.
You know that is really something that I miss about PK - there is ALWAYS something going on whether it's a family or just going visiting family. It did take me a very long time to let my guard down and just enjoy.
Thanks again and come back again!
Ha ha - need to correct myself...I had said whether its a family or just going and visiting family. I meant to say, "whether its a family FUNCTION or just going and visiting family. :)
Hey T! :)
I feel the same way when it comes to Egypt. I love how close the family is there, the domestic help, how cheap things are, etc. As for me and Zane going back, it is still up in the air. It all depends on him. But i would be content on going back there for good. I love how simple life is there and I don't have the stresses I have there as I do here.
Take care and lots of hugs!
Very good post. Nice to see what it's like from a gori's perspective. ;-) I can't believe you were there for a year and a half...wow, how time flies!
Great post. Thanks for sharing!
Tara---I feel *the* exact same way about Pakistan.. really! The problem is, would never tell dh that. I have tried to get him to drop everything in the past and move there but he was against it but he has been hinting around it for a couple of days now and for some reason, beyond me, I'm not ready to--yet. Your post realy inspired me to really think about that. Yes, Dubai is something we are looking into BUT for all the reasons you stated--I really like Pakistan.
Ya got me thinking sis!
:)
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