In Loving Memory of my Dad

Since today was Father's Day I wanted to post in memory of my Dad. I've thought about him all day. I had such an amazing father and with what he went through in his lifetime makes him all the more amazing.

My Dad found out that he was diabetic at the age of 20 - just one year after he married my Mom. My Dad was such a hard worker and my Mom was able to be a stay-at-home Mom when I was born. I think she tried working a few times but she wanted to be home. I have much older brothers - one is 10 years older than me and one is 15 years older than me. So I was the baby of the family and pretty much was the only child in the house. My Dad completely provided for my Mom, brothers and I. My Dad always made sure that I had everything that I wanted. I have fond memories of always waiting for him to get home from work.

I do however remember when he started having complications due to the diabetes. Diabetics are known to have problems with poor circulation which in turn causes them to have serious problems with their feet. They are also known to have problems with their vision as well as other complications but these are 2 big complications that occur. My Dad tried to stay very healthy and he watched his diet and followed everything that he could to maintain a healthy lifestyle being diabetic. The first complications he started having were the feet. Diabetics can get a blister on their toe and it can turn into an amputation if it's not properly treated. Most diabetics can't even feel their feet. They also get ulcers on their feet. It's very important that their feet are looked at regularly and my Mom always did that for my Dad.

My Dad got an ulcer on his heel and it was so bad. He literally had a hole through his heel. He would go to a Wound Care Center in North Dallas once a week where they would debride the ulcer and then it would be packed with steri-strips. My Mom would also have to do this at home twice a day for my Dad with a solution that is called Procurin. This solution is actually made from his blood. My Dad still would go into work everyday and never once complained about what all he was going through with this foot. After soooo many months of treatment they were able to save my Dad's foot and he didn't have to have an amputation.

The years went by and my Dad had other complications that would come up. When I was a senior in high school he got transferred to Little Rock, Arkansas. My Mom didn't want to move considering I was in my senior year of high school and she wanted me to finish with my class. My Mom and I would drive up to Arkansas almost every weekend to see my Dad. My Dad spent 2 years in Arkansas and while he was there he started developing problems with his vision. He still was able to make it into work everyday and never once complained. He just kept on living his life and making the most of it. My Dad was able to return back to Dallas after those 2 years.

Upon his return back to Dallas he started having laser treatment on his eyes. After many treatments they were not able to save the vision in one of his eyes. The eye became very cloudy and they were able to make the most incredible porcelain cover for that eye. It look perfect and no one could even tell. As the years went by the vision in the other eye just got worse and worse. He had what is called tunnel vision. It was as if he was looking through a tunnel. I can remember one time we went to some home and garden show in Dallas and my Dad ran smack into someone and I just felt so bad for him. He never felt embarrassed though - that was my Dad. He knew this was the life that he had been dealt and he was just doing the best that he could. Sometimes my Mom would have to lead him by the hand because he couldn't see down. It makes me sad to think about it.

Later in life my Dad did start having kidney problems. He went into complete kidney failure and had to go on dialysis. He would go 4 times a week for 4 hours. Dialysis is just so hard on them and their blood pressure can drop dramatically and sometimes they can pass out. I don't think my Dad ever did but he sure would come close. My Mom and I would go pick him up and we'd have to help him out to the car because he was so weak. My Dad did go on the kidney transplant list but was never called for a match.

My Dad would get those ulcers on his toes sometimes and he had 3 toes amputated on one foot and I think one on the other foot. He would joke around that he had alien feet. That was just how my Dad was - always happy go lucky. He never let his disease get him down. Through the amputations he was always able to save the whole foot. Thank God that the infection never ran up his foot.

After a few years of dialysis the diabetes was really starting to take its toll on him. His energy level dropped to nothing and I could see how sick he was becoming. My Dad still fought - he fought everyday. He just knew in his heart that he'd get his kidney transplant and everything would be ok but unfortunately that never happened. :-(

In May of 2001 and at the age of 60 my Dad lost his fight with diabetes. In my Dad's last few days of life, sometimes he would just sit at the kitchen table and just stare out the window. It's as if he knew his days were limited. I feel in my heart that he was ready to go. He had also had some heart trouble where stints were put in because of the clogged arteries but managed to get through that. My Mom tells me that on the night he died he rode his stationary bicycle just like he always did. He stayed up later then he ever did that night.

The next morning my Mom noticed that my Dad wasn't up and getting ready for dialysis. She went into the bedroom and said his name. When he didn't respond or move, she went over to his side of the bed and kind of shook the bed - still no response. She called his name and shook him and she felt that he was ice cold. He was face down in his pillow and he was completely covered up as if he hadn't gotten up the entire night. My Mom feels that he passed away shortly after going to bed because the sheet over him was just perfect. My Mom didn't have an autopsy performed and they ruled that the cause of death was a myocardial infarction which is - heart attack.

I will never forget my Dad and his courage. He fought to the end. I know he just wanted to be with us and my Mom forever but he knew in his heart that he wouldn't be able to. My Mom has never re-married and I don't think she ever will. No one will ever take the place of him. So today on Father's Day I have written this in his honor. I miss him - his laugh - his jokes and the smile that he always had on his face when I know he felt so bad. The memories of him will last a lifetime.

It's so hard to lose a parent and ever since my Dad passed away it really made me realize how quickly someone can be taken from you. Life is so precious - make the most of everyday.

Until later...

Bye for now.