Updates from yesterday and more...
So if you read yesterday's post then this one will make sense to you. If you didn't, go back and read yesterday's first - if you're interested of course!
First, the servant did not show up today. I had mentioned in yesterday's post that she was due back today but nope she didn't show up. I knew it would happen but I still had a small shred of hope that she'd return today.
I was up all night last night. Usually baby Sara is in bed asleep no later than 10:30 p.m. but last night she was up well after 1:30 a.m. It wasn't so bad considering I was up already. After she went down, I pretty much just stayed on the net browsing, etc. Shakil comes home from work about 4:15 a.m. and when he came home he was surprised to see that I was awake. Well, he shouldn't be too surprised considering it's pretty often that I'm up all night now. I've just gotten off schedule and a large part of it is due to Shakil's night schedule - he works nights 4 days a week.
In the evening yesterday I had emailed Shakil some names and phone #'s of a/c repair men. While at work he called and got one scheduled to come out this morning at 10 a.m. I was a bit surprised he scheduled it for a morning when he's been at work all night. He set his alarm when he got home so he'd be awake and ready for the a/c man. Now it's not so uncommon for these people to be late. Of course the man didn't show up until almost noon and mind you Shakil had been up since about 7:30 a.m. or so when we received a phone call. No alarm was even needed because the call woke him up. I guess I was pretty tired because I fell back asleep.
The a/c man got our a/c fixed!! It just needed a really good cleaning. Shakil was not at all satisfied with what they charged to do it and they still wanted more. No one is ever satisfied. Shakil had asked in advance what the service charge was going to be and he paid what he was quoted. Shakil thinks that they may have drained some coolant from the a/c just out of spite. I mean come on, how petty. It feels cool this evening so hopefully it's ok. At least those plastic bags have been tossed out and I don't have to look at them or that damn bucket under the window anymore.
Now here's where things get a bit worse. I do believe it started out of sheer frustration of the servant still not showing up. A few days back I put my foot down and told Shakil that I was NOT going to clean the house anymore. It is just too hot (minimum 115 degrees F everyday outside) inside and I can't do it anymore. He told me he was working on getting us someone else to come in and start the cleaning again. I also told him a few days back that I'm done with cooking as well. I can't and I repeat can't do it. I refuse to stand over a hot stove sweating profusely with my shirt and pants wet and keep wiping my face from letting the sweat drip into the food - yes, it's gross!! He had told me before summer started that when it started to get too hot that we'd just start getting take out or going out somewhere. I kept cooking though. Now it's come to a point where it's not feasible anymore. I'm just not used to it nor do I want to get used to it.
I was in my in-laws bedroom with a/c downstairs sleeping during all of the a/c repairing and Shakil came in to lay down when the a/c men left. I had no idea what time it was and asked him "aren't you going to get some sleep"? He tells me that he only has like 10 minutes - 10 minutes until he has to start getting ready for work. I was surprised and I did feel bad that he wasn't able to catch anymore sleep since he works all night long. Sara had just woke up and I told him I needed to head upstairs to make her a bottle and feed her, change diaper, etc.
We both go upstairs and the a/c men left a big ol' mess. This mess is right next to my side of the bed. First thing Shakil says to me when I take a look at is "you've got a mess you need to clean up". I dunno but it just didn't settle well with me and I was pissed. The first thing that slipped out of my mouth was "I'm not going to clean it". I said it pretty darn stern and then me saying that didn't settle with Shakil. Needless to say, it developed into a full blown argument. He got even more stern about the mess and proceeded to say "you clean that mess up by the time I get home or I'm not getting you anymore internet cards or calling cards". Now that's a pretty serious thing to say to me considering that is how I talk to my Mom in the U.S. Again, the argument is just getting more heated. I said some other things and then told him that there is nothing for me to have for dinner. He was asking why I didn't tell him earlier and I told him I was asleep. He had been pissed off that I slept most of the day. Well, I slept most of the day because I was up all night. Now, I know he was too but I did what he told me to do. I stayed in the in-laws bedroom and just took care of baby Sara. Now it's all coming back and being thrown in my face. This is what he and I do when we argue. We can have some pretty heated ones because we are both just so stubborn.
So I'm bitching that we don't have anything for dinner and the night before I had just a bowl of cereal and I really didn't want to have that again. It was after 4 p.m. in the afternoon and I hadn't eaten all day. During some of argument he tosses out that I can't do anything by myself. He suggested that I go searching for a maid. What am I supposed to do? Just stand on the corner and round someone up? He says "no, you can go next door and tell the people there to send their maid over when she's finished". You see, the maid that works next door is the sister to the maid we used to have when I came back in September. Well, I can't just go start knocking on someone's door that I don't even know. I'm just not comfortable with that. Surprisingly, he dropped that issue and we just moved on to more things to bitch about.
During the bickering and bickering he tells me that he doesn't have time to go take me anywhere or pick anything up - he'll be late for work. I take it upon myself to get dressed and scoop up baby Sara and tell him that I'll just walk to the store to get something myself. Now remember he said that I can't do anything by myself so I was more than determined to go to the store myself. Bad thing is that I'd have to walk there. It is only a 10 minute walk - if that to the store. So more arguing about that me going and him telling me that I can't go and I'm telling him that I'm going. I head downstairs and start to proceed out the front door. He stops me asking me to please not go. I was so determined and hell bent on going after the arguing and him saying that I can't do anything myself that I just wasn't hearing it. I was being more than stubborn at this point. Back and forth of him saying "don't go". To make this long overdrawn out story short, he finally says "fine go". So I did. I headed out with baby Sara on my hip and started walking.
I never thought I would ever go out walking outside of our house by myself. There was so much staring going on. It's as if people were looking at me thinking "what the hell is that white girl doing"? "why is she out by herself"? Truth is that you never see women out walking unless it is a servant, maid or something. So seeing me out walking was a new thing for these people. I made it to intersection and it is a busy one. So I decided to turn right instead of crossing and I'd cross down a little ways. I was going to go left and head down to McDonald's. Well, I didn't make it very far when Shakil pulled up and asked me to get in the car. I was on the opposite side of the road and he crossed over to come get me and escort me back to the car. I decided to go ahead and get in because I was pretty hot. He asked me where I wanted to go and I told him to take me to McDonald's. What I wanted to do was walk to McDonalds, sit there and eat, cool off and then walk back home.
Shakil wheeled us through the drive-thru and took Sara and I back home. I got home and gobbled up my combo meal and coke. I've napped on and off most of the evening with Sara. God only knows what time she'll go down to sleep tonight. Haven't heard from Shakil all evening. Tomorrow is a day off for him.
The cable company here has removed one of my FAVORITE channels. So ticked off about that!!!
So in a nutshell, it's been one hell of day here. Hey, tomorrow is a new day right?!?!
Until later...
Bye for now.
First, the servant did not show up today. I had mentioned in yesterday's post that she was due back today but nope she didn't show up. I knew it would happen but I still had a small shred of hope that she'd return today.
I was up all night last night. Usually baby Sara is in bed asleep no later than 10:30 p.m. but last night she was up well after 1:30 a.m. It wasn't so bad considering I was up already. After she went down, I pretty much just stayed on the net browsing, etc. Shakil comes home from work about 4:15 a.m. and when he came home he was surprised to see that I was awake. Well, he shouldn't be too surprised considering it's pretty often that I'm up all night now. I've just gotten off schedule and a large part of it is due to Shakil's night schedule - he works nights 4 days a week.
In the evening yesterday I had emailed Shakil some names and phone #'s of a/c repair men. While at work he called and got one scheduled to come out this morning at 10 a.m. I was a bit surprised he scheduled it for a morning when he's been at work all night. He set his alarm when he got home so he'd be awake and ready for the a/c man. Now it's not so uncommon for these people to be late. Of course the man didn't show up until almost noon and mind you Shakil had been up since about 7:30 a.m. or so when we received a phone call. No alarm was even needed because the call woke him up. I guess I was pretty tired because I fell back asleep.
The a/c man got our a/c fixed!! It just needed a really good cleaning. Shakil was not at all satisfied with what they charged to do it and they still wanted more. No one is ever satisfied. Shakil had asked in advance what the service charge was going to be and he paid what he was quoted. Shakil thinks that they may have drained some coolant from the a/c just out of spite. I mean come on, how petty. It feels cool this evening so hopefully it's ok. At least those plastic bags have been tossed out and I don't have to look at them or that damn bucket under the window anymore.
Now here's where things get a bit worse. I do believe it started out of sheer frustration of the servant still not showing up. A few days back I put my foot down and told Shakil that I was NOT going to clean the house anymore. It is just too hot (minimum 115 degrees F everyday outside) inside and I can't do it anymore. He told me he was working on getting us someone else to come in and start the cleaning again. I also told him a few days back that I'm done with cooking as well. I can't and I repeat can't do it. I refuse to stand over a hot stove sweating profusely with my shirt and pants wet and keep wiping my face from letting the sweat drip into the food - yes, it's gross!! He had told me before summer started that when it started to get too hot that we'd just start getting take out or going out somewhere. I kept cooking though. Now it's come to a point where it's not feasible anymore. I'm just not used to it nor do I want to get used to it.
I was in my in-laws bedroom with a/c downstairs sleeping during all of the a/c repairing and Shakil came in to lay down when the a/c men left. I had no idea what time it was and asked him "aren't you going to get some sleep"? He tells me that he only has like 10 minutes - 10 minutes until he has to start getting ready for work. I was surprised and I did feel bad that he wasn't able to catch anymore sleep since he works all night long. Sara had just woke up and I told him I needed to head upstairs to make her a bottle and feed her, change diaper, etc.
We both go upstairs and the a/c men left a big ol' mess. This mess is right next to my side of the bed. First thing Shakil says to me when I take a look at is "you've got a mess you need to clean up". I dunno but it just didn't settle well with me and I was pissed. The first thing that slipped out of my mouth was "I'm not going to clean it". I said it pretty darn stern and then me saying that didn't settle with Shakil. Needless to say, it developed into a full blown argument. He got even more stern about the mess and proceeded to say "you clean that mess up by the time I get home or I'm not getting you anymore internet cards or calling cards". Now that's a pretty serious thing to say to me considering that is how I talk to my Mom in the U.S. Again, the argument is just getting more heated. I said some other things and then told him that there is nothing for me to have for dinner. He was asking why I didn't tell him earlier and I told him I was asleep. He had been pissed off that I slept most of the day. Well, I slept most of the day because I was up all night. Now, I know he was too but I did what he told me to do. I stayed in the in-laws bedroom and just took care of baby Sara. Now it's all coming back and being thrown in my face. This is what he and I do when we argue. We can have some pretty heated ones because we are both just so stubborn.
So I'm bitching that we don't have anything for dinner and the night before I had just a bowl of cereal and I really didn't want to have that again. It was after 4 p.m. in the afternoon and I hadn't eaten all day. During some of argument he tosses out that I can't do anything by myself. He suggested that I go searching for a maid. What am I supposed to do? Just stand on the corner and round someone up? He says "no, you can go next door and tell the people there to send their maid over when she's finished". You see, the maid that works next door is the sister to the maid we used to have when I came back in September. Well, I can't just go start knocking on someone's door that I don't even know. I'm just not comfortable with that. Surprisingly, he dropped that issue and we just moved on to more things to bitch about.
During the bickering and bickering he tells me that he doesn't have time to go take me anywhere or pick anything up - he'll be late for work. I take it upon myself to get dressed and scoop up baby Sara and tell him that I'll just walk to the store to get something myself. Now remember he said that I can't do anything by myself so I was more than determined to go to the store myself. Bad thing is that I'd have to walk there. It is only a 10 minute walk - if that to the store. So more arguing about that me going and him telling me that I can't go and I'm telling him that I'm going. I head downstairs and start to proceed out the front door. He stops me asking me to please not go. I was so determined and hell bent on going after the arguing and him saying that I can't do anything myself that I just wasn't hearing it. I was being more than stubborn at this point. Back and forth of him saying "don't go". To make this long overdrawn out story short, he finally says "fine go". So I did. I headed out with baby Sara on my hip and started walking.
I never thought I would ever go out walking outside of our house by myself. There was so much staring going on. It's as if people were looking at me thinking "what the hell is that white girl doing"? "why is she out by herself"? Truth is that you never see women out walking unless it is a servant, maid or something. So seeing me out walking was a new thing for these people. I made it to intersection and it is a busy one. So I decided to turn right instead of crossing and I'd cross down a little ways. I was going to go left and head down to McDonald's. Well, I didn't make it very far when Shakil pulled up and asked me to get in the car. I was on the opposite side of the road and he crossed over to come get me and escort me back to the car. I decided to go ahead and get in because I was pretty hot. He asked me where I wanted to go and I told him to take me to McDonald's. What I wanted to do was walk to McDonalds, sit there and eat, cool off and then walk back home.
Shakil wheeled us through the drive-thru and took Sara and I back home. I got home and gobbled up my combo meal and coke. I've napped on and off most of the evening with Sara. God only knows what time she'll go down to sleep tonight. Haven't heard from Shakil all evening. Tomorrow is a day off for him.
The cable company here has removed one of my FAVORITE channels. So ticked off about that!!!
So in a nutshell, it's been one hell of day here. Hey, tomorrow is a new day right?!?!
Until later...
Bye for now.
posted by Tara at 1:08 PM
3 Comments:
Tara, I know I might sound like a bee-ach but I think probably she's just taking a long vacation. These people are professionals in trouble ha ha. Now, if I'm wrong let me just say sorry in advance, but I think probably if she's young, she's just missing her family and spending more time there or has found other work to double her income this year. It's sad really but I'm sure she is expecting you guys to just let it go. You should call (or have Shakil call) the Dully (it means Pimp ha ha) and tell her that you will be needing another servant and want your money back from the other. She has broken her contract. If they say no, then you just threaten the police and I'm sure it will all be taken care of. They'll find that girl and make sure she returns to you pronto. Also, my family has Quranic lessons for the servants of the house too. This way they start to learn the difference in right and wrong b/c these are not lessons they learn from their parents. You might want to consider something like this..if only for a good deed. I hope her brother really hasn't died and that she returns to you fresh from a little vacation ha ha. I'm sure that living with you guys is a lot better than where she is now. I can tell that you are worried about her even though it's annoying to have no one to help.
Oh, I also don't want to sound like a bossy britches ha ha. You FOR SURE know more about life in Pakistan than me..seeing how you've been there for over a year and I've only visited yearly. I just had a really bad run in with some servants on my first and second trips there and learned from those experiences how people handled them. I had treated the servants like my children...and then they cleaned me out alright ha ha...stole all my jewelry and tons of makeup in one instance. I learned that you really have to be different with them, as sad as it sounds, but not mean. You just have to be on your toes. Just wanted to make sure you knew I wasn't telling you these things as in "here's how you should handle it,white girl" more as in "I've been there before and this is what I did." :)
Now that I read over this I can see a little how it could have been misunderstood.
Tara, somebody left some comments for me on my posts here.
Anyway, I just responded to this in a business way. Tara paid for a service and should get her money back or someone new to help her. These "Dolly's" are often crooked so sometimes you have to be rough with them to get an fair shake.
In my situations, after requesting several times for the problem to be solved, the only thing which got any action was mentioning calling the police. Of course my family wouldn't b/c teh police are mean as hell there, I know that, but that atleast made the person they had paid do the right thing.
As for other comments which could have been misunderstood, the heat is a serious problem for us goris b/c we are not used to it and it can seriously make us sick. Just as the inlaws can't stand central ac, the heat about kills us. We are talking nausea, dizziness and even fainting and not just a little sweat. It doesn't get that hot anywhere in teh US. It can make us ill quick.
Cleaning and cooking are hard work and Tara is lucky in that she can hire someone to help her. It's ok for her expect help when she's paid for it.
I also know that LOTS of people have problems with maids. They are very difficult to manage and my sister in laws are in charge of that in my house. The maids have to be supervised at all times. Which I didn't like or feel comfortable with or even understand until I was stolen from.
They all lock their doors when they aren't in there. I left mine wide open and came home to find a lot of my favorite things taken. I didn't understand that you can't trust them for the most part and that you can't be overly friendly b/c they are professionals and know how to take advantage of you. You really do have to be different to them than you would to people here. That is the point I was making.
However, I still can't help it when I'm there and see the kids working in the house. I always bring them gifts from teh US, I take them shopping (for things like shoes and hygeine stuff) and I pay them double. I'm not unfair or unkind, believe me. I do not, however, leave them unsupervised as I would just give a key to a maid in the US to come and clean while I was gone.
Anyway, I hope this clears a lot up for you Dolly's friend. I think there was a big communication problem here.
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