Figuring things out...
***First of all I want to thank everyone who reads my blog and makes comments. I truly appreciate all of your kind words, support and great advice. It means so much to me.***
The past few days have consisted of me being worried, nervous, scared...you name it. I did get over the tooth issue thank God. I can't stop thinking about how I need to go back to Pakistan to be with Shakil. I know it's the best thing financially for me, the baby and him. Shakil is not making American dollars over in Pakistan and the wages in Pakistan are extremely low. It takes 60 rupees to make 1 American dollar. So, in a nutshell Shakil can't support baby and I from half way around the world. He does have to make payments to our lawyer for the immigration case. I support myself here in the U.S. or I've been trying to. I did just quit my job last week - which I don't regret. Shakil was not too happy about me quitting the job. He thinks I quit prematurely and that I should have stayed until I had enough cash to get the plane ticket to return to Pakistan. You know, maybe he's right but I really felt I was doing what was best with all the pressure/stress I was under. He wouldn't understand considering he's not here but he did hear enough bitching about the job.
I did tell my Mom that I intend to leave for Pakistan and she is still not happy about that at all. I can understand why she feels this way but I have no choice but to be with my husband during this time. Shakil tells me that he can completely support baby and I over there. I will have nothing to worry about - nothing to worry about - That sounds so nice right about now. I love my Mom so very much and I hope over time she will understand why I chose to make this decision. She just keeps throwing out to me that I'm taking such a risk getting on a plane and flying that distance pregnant. She also tosses out how I can get sick over there. She tosses out many 'a things to me which I don't feel are quite fair to me. My husband is there for God's sake and has been for over 1 1/2 years. If Shakil didn't think that baby and I wouldn't safe there, he wouldn't be calling for me to come there. He's trying to take stresses/pressures off me and do what is right for the both of us.
I do have to come up with the money to buy this plane ticket myself. Shakil is still pretty upset about how I left Pakistan to begin with. Believe me, if I had known I was pregnant when I left - I never would have left to begin with. He and I made an agreement when I left Pak if I decided to return then I would be responsible for getting the ticket. Ticket to Pakistan runs about $1200-1300 max. I've decided to sell off my living room furniture. It really has no meaning to me at all and comes from my previous marriage anyways. Plus I plan to sell my washer/dryer which are same as brand new. I figure with selling off this stuff plus some other things I have - I can probably get the money together sooner than later. Wish me luck.
Until later...
Bye for now.
The past few days have consisted of me being worried, nervous, scared...you name it. I did get over the tooth issue thank God. I can't stop thinking about how I need to go back to Pakistan to be with Shakil. I know it's the best thing financially for me, the baby and him. Shakil is not making American dollars over in Pakistan and the wages in Pakistan are extremely low. It takes 60 rupees to make 1 American dollar. So, in a nutshell Shakil can't support baby and I from half way around the world. He does have to make payments to our lawyer for the immigration case. I support myself here in the U.S. or I've been trying to. I did just quit my job last week - which I don't regret. Shakil was not too happy about me quitting the job. He thinks I quit prematurely and that I should have stayed until I had enough cash to get the plane ticket to return to Pakistan. You know, maybe he's right but I really felt I was doing what was best with all the pressure/stress I was under. He wouldn't understand considering he's not here but he did hear enough bitching about the job.
I did tell my Mom that I intend to leave for Pakistan and she is still not happy about that at all. I can understand why she feels this way but I have no choice but to be with my husband during this time. Shakil tells me that he can completely support baby and I over there. I will have nothing to worry about - nothing to worry about - That sounds so nice right about now. I love my Mom so very much and I hope over time she will understand why I chose to make this decision. She just keeps throwing out to me that I'm taking such a risk getting on a plane and flying that distance pregnant. She also tosses out how I can get sick over there. She tosses out many 'a things to me which I don't feel are quite fair to me. My husband is there for God's sake and has been for over 1 1/2 years. If Shakil didn't think that baby and I wouldn't safe there, he wouldn't be calling for me to come there. He's trying to take stresses/pressures off me and do what is right for the both of us.
I do have to come up with the money to buy this plane ticket myself. Shakil is still pretty upset about how I left Pakistan to begin with. Believe me, if I had known I was pregnant when I left - I never would have left to begin with. He and I made an agreement when I left Pak if I decided to return then I would be responsible for getting the ticket. Ticket to Pakistan runs about $1200-1300 max. I've decided to sell off my living room furniture. It really has no meaning to me at all and comes from my previous marriage anyways. Plus I plan to sell my washer/dryer which are same as brand new. I figure with selling off this stuff plus some other things I have - I can probably get the money together sooner than later. Wish me luck.
Until later...
Bye for now.
posted by Tara at 9:52 PM
4 Comments:
HI Tara; I can understand your mum is upset, after having you with her this time she doesn't want you to leave, specially now that you are pregnant and are going to travel to a 3rd world country to deliver your baby! But I'm sure when she hears you calling from pakistan and sounding happy she will feel happy as well. INshallah you will be able to rise the money you need to meet Shakil soon!
Tara you might want to sell it fast and get that plane ticket as it will be more tiring and difficult for you in the later stage. Go ahead and do what you think is right and be confident. Best wishes to you.
I feel far too young and naive to properly comment on this post, but good luck with everything. I hope all works out well for you! :)
Tara- First visit to your blog, and I love it.
Tickets to Pakistan can be much much cheaper!! Around 900 even.. contact an agent and they will hook you up.
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