Still planning to leave for Pak...

***My sincere condolences go out to those who may have lost a loved one in the hurricane. My prayers also go out to anyone who may have not heard from their loved one yet - may everyone be safe and sound.***

The garage sale I had last weekend didn't do as well as I thought it would. I did manage to sell my washer/dryer and kitchen table/chairs - so I guess that is good. I still need to sell my sectional sofa. I think it's going to be a challenge to do so. I've got it advertised online through the local newspaper and I have received some calls but everyone seems to want something for nothing. I refuse to just give away my sofa. Shakil got an offer on it from someone who claimed he was sending the money order - blah, blah, blah but nothing has shown up. Go figure. There are so many damn liars out there.

I still would like to leave for Pakistan on September 25th. That's what Shakil and I are shooting for. I've got an OB appt on the 16th and I'll be 4 1/2 months at that point. We get to find out the sex! I'm so excited!! Plus I'll be able to see the baby for the last time before finishing up my pregnancy in Pak.

My Mom and I did have it out again the weekend of my garage sale about me leaving for Pak. She really started bitching at me and it just made me feel terrible. So with my hormones raging and in full effect - I bitched right back. Needless to say, she hasn't said anymore about me leaving. She's been very nice over the past several days - Thank God. I know she is concerned but she has to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing.

Saturday night was my best friend's wedding. It went off very well and I of course boo-hoo'd the entire ceremony. I cry at everything nowadays. Just the other day I was watching "The Karate Kid" and I just boo-hoo'd at the end. Oh and the Extreme Makover Home Edition - those get my tears flowin' too. I have hardly been able to watch any of the hurricane coverage because I just cry and cry for these people. :-(

I seem to have come down with something. I thought it was just sinuses but it's progressed into a sore throat, congestion, coughing, headache (big time) and this evening my whole body is aching. What the heck? Where did this come from? I'm keeping a check on it to make sure I'm not running a fever and I haven't been - Thank God. I guess I probably need to start a round of antibiotics - but I try not to take anything. I am taking Tylenol cold but that really isn't doing much. *sigh*

Other than that everything seems to be ok here. I'm just so ready to leave and be with Shakil!!! I can't wait to feel his great hugs and see that incredible smile of his!!!!

Until later...

Bye for now.

Weekend update...

Last night I was up until after 1 a.m. talking to Shakil via yahoo messenger and somehow forgetting or wanting to forget I had to be up at 7 a.m. Today (Saturday) was the day that my bros were coming over to get all my stuff out of storage so I could cut out that $45 a month. The jerks raised my rent - not happy about that but it needed to all come out. So 7 a.m. rolls around and I'm just exhausted - barely hear the alarm go off and I think I just slammed my hand on it to make it go onto snooze. Well, I did manage to get my butt out of bed but was oh so wanting to get back into it and just sleep and sleep.

My bros arrived at 8 a.m. and we all headed over to my Uncle's to borrow his truck. Afterwards we headed over to my storage which is a nice 30 minute drive (I'm being sarcastic). I tell ya it sure was nice just being able to supervise and not have to do anything. My bros did it all and I barely had to lift a finger. I so appreciated that. It only took them about 1 1/2 hours to get it all out. It took the bed of a truck and the backseat plus 2 loads in 2 cars - if that makes any sense. :-) So it's done. They got it all over here to my Mom's. They set up my sofa, coffee table, kitchen table and washer/dryer up in the garage so I can just open it up to show a prospective buyer. Tomorrow I'll be working a bit more to get it all sold with signs out posted, etc. We did have some signs up but they all managed to blow down - Texas is supposed to be hot/dry/not much wind this time of year. Sheesh, yeah right- my signs didn't stand a chance.

My bro's left about 12:45 p.m. and I was just exhausted. I had cleaned my leather sectional up with some good leather cleaner, cleaned up the washer/dryer and used some polish on the coffee table. Needless to say, when the heat index was 107 degrees - I was beat!!!! Right after my bro's left I just had to get a nap in. In just a few more hours I was do to be at my best friends for her bachelorette party. Whewwwwwwwwww.

I did get about a 2 hour nap which saved me. I left about 4 p.m. to head to my friends. We went over to another gals house where there was going to be a little lingerie shower and appetizers. Steph got some really cute stuff but not sure how long she can wear 'em cause she just informed me like 2 days ago she is 7 weeks pregnant. OH MY. She and I have been friends for 12+ years and our babies will be 2 months apart in age. Kinda ironic I think. :-) I'm so happy for her.

After the gift giving and appetizers, etc. We headed on to a nice mexican restaurant named Esparza's. It's in the downtown area of Grapevine and it's a very historical area. This house that the restaurant was in must be 100's of years old - kinda neat. I wasn't too fond of the wait time though. We had to sit outside in the heat for a damn hour. Keep a pregnant woman out in the heat for that long and she is not a happy camper. I felt like I was melting. We finally get seated though and we're put in a room with a party of 15 or so. My gosh was it loud. They were just all shouting, etc. Just about drove me nuts. I was ready to pull my hair out. Needless to say my nerves were just shot by the time we left. The food was good but the atmosphere was less than good.

They all were heading to a comedy show in downtown Fort Worth called Four Day Weekend. The show wasn't do to start until 10 p.m. and there was just no way I could go so I headed home. Plus I just didn't want to be driving home that late by myself. It would have been at least a 45 minute drive after midnight. This mommy-to-be is past all that. No more!

It's after midnight yet again and I'm ready to turn in for the night. Oh, oh, oh, oh one more thing. Went to see my OB on Friday. I'm 3 1/2 months now and I got to have another sonogram. I saw my little baby and that heartbeat just beating away. Little legs/arms were just moving so fast. It was so wonderful. Shakil and I will know the sex of the baby in 4 weeks!!!!! Thank God for this precious gift and now letting me be more at ease. What a blessing.

Until later...

Bye for now.

Hubby said it was time to blog...

Earlier today Shakil informed me that I needed to blog. So here ya go babe! :-)

The weekend was fairly nice but still pretty darn hot here. On Saturday my Mom and I went to The Country Peddler Show at the Arlington Convention Center. Tickets are $6 and that ticket will last you all weekend. I think it's a great place to do your Christmas shopping if you are an early starter. There are just rows and rows of crafts and other goodies. I go there for the great potpourri that one of the vendors sells and also for the great homemade fudge. Colleen - if you are reading this - you remember? You and I went one year together. My Mom and I walked up and down the aisles looking at all the stuff. We stopped at one booth that was selling dip mixes. It's like premixed spices and all you have to add is mayo/sour cream. I got one dip called "Blazin' Saddles". I love spicy food and especially now I always seem to want something spicy. Well, this dip is definitely spicy and oh so yummy!

Sunday really consisted of me staying at home. I stay at home a lot these days. I feel so much more relaxed after leaving my job. I can actually sleep through the night and get some good rest. Friday night my two older brothers (Yes, I do have bro's - 2 very much older brothers - 1 is 39 and the other is 43 - I'm the baby at 29 years! - no sisters) are coming over and we're going to get all my stuff out of the storage I've had now for over 1 1/2 years. My washer/dryer that I'll be selling is in there and I'm sure I've got some other stuff that I'll be getting rid of. I plan to get everything sold - or try to on Saturday of this week. My sectional, coffee table and other stuff is here at my Mom's. My brother's just need to get it out to the garage for sale on Saturday. We shall see how it turns out. I hope I get it all sold and get the money together that I need to go be with Shakil in Pakistan.

It's raining here tonight and it sounds so good sitting here listening to the rain. It hasn't rained much at all here in what feels like forever. The dogs outside are barking, barking, barking at a possum that is up on the fence just staring at them. I'm surprised I can even hear the rain.

I'm off to bed.

Until later...

Bye for now.

Figuring things out...

***First of all I want to thank everyone who reads my blog and makes comments. I truly appreciate all of your kind words, support and great advice. It means so much to me.***

The past few days have consisted of me being worried, nervous, scared...you name it. I did get over the tooth issue thank God. I can't stop thinking about how I need to go back to Pakistan to be with Shakil. I know it's the best thing financially for me, the baby and him. Shakil is not making American dollars over in Pakistan and the wages in Pakistan are extremely low. It takes 60 rupees to make 1 American dollar. So, in a nutshell Shakil can't support baby and I from half way around the world. He does have to make payments to our lawyer for the immigration case. I support myself here in the U.S. or I've been trying to. I did just quit my job last week - which I don't regret. Shakil was not too happy about me quitting the job. He thinks I quit prematurely and that I should have stayed until I had enough cash to get the plane ticket to return to Pakistan. You know, maybe he's right but I really felt I was doing what was best with all the pressure/stress I was under. He wouldn't understand considering he's not here but he did hear enough bitching about the job.

I did tell my Mom that I intend to leave for Pakistan and she is still not happy about that at all. I can understand why she feels this way but I have no choice but to be with my husband during this time. Shakil tells me that he can completely support baby and I over there. I will have nothing to worry about - nothing to worry about - That sounds so nice right about now. I love my Mom so very much and I hope over time she will understand why I chose to make this decision. She just keeps throwing out to me that I'm taking such a risk getting on a plane and flying that distance pregnant. She also tosses out how I can get sick over there. She tosses out many 'a things to me which I don't feel are quite fair to me. My husband is there for God's sake and has been for over 1 1/2 years. If Shakil didn't think that baby and I wouldn't safe there, he wouldn't be calling for me to come there. He's trying to take stresses/pressures off me and do what is right for the both of us.

I do have to come up with the money to buy this plane ticket myself. Shakil is still pretty upset about how I left Pakistan to begin with. Believe me, if I had known I was pregnant when I left - I never would have left to begin with. He and I made an agreement when I left Pak if I decided to return then I would be responsible for getting the ticket. Ticket to Pakistan runs about $1200-1300 max. I've decided to sell off my living room furniture. It really has no meaning to me at all and comes from my previous marriage anyways. Plus I plan to sell my washer/dryer which are same as brand new. I figure with selling off this stuff plus some other things I have - I can probably get the money together sooner than later. Wish me luck.

Until later...

Bye for now.

When it rains it pours...

Last week I took a couple of days off of work and found out just how much better I felt not having to deal with the stresses/pressures that they were putting on me. I had decided on the day I was going to go back that I'd mention to my boss about lowering my hours. Well the night before I intended to go back - my boss called me here at home. I was completely honest with her and told her about all the stress/pressure I was feeling. She didn't seem to be the least bit sympathetic at all - which I expected with her. She expects you to still go into work even if you have 101 or 102 fever. Anyway, to make a long story short, she told me that she could no way lower my hours or make any alterations to my position. I informed her that I would not be returning to my job. It has been such a big relief ever since I left this job. I've actually been able to relax and no more of that LONG hellacious drive to work/back.

Thursday night I was able to spend quite a bit of time voice chatting with Shakil and it was so nice. The connection seemed to be very good. We kept alternating between MSN, Yahoo and Skype but yahoo seemed to work the best at that time. I also got to talk to my mother-in-law via voice chat and that was especially nice. It was actually the first time I've talked to her since I found out I was pregnant - which btw I hit 12 weeks last Thursday. Shakil and I chatted until way past 1:30 a.m. my time. Then he got d/c and I just called it a night and headed onto bed.

Shortly after I finished chatting with him I started to feel that a tooth of mine was giving me some pain - nothing bad but it sure was noticeable. The pain just started to get progressively worse and worse until it became unbearable. I tried sleeping and I was just tossing and turning. It seems that a toothache feels even worse when you try to lay down - I don't know why that is but it sucks. About 5 a.m. I couldn't take the pain anymore and I proceeded to wake up my Mom and I told her that I was having some really bad tooth pain. I wanted to use her bathtub (she has a big jacuzzi tub) so I could try to relax a bit and there is a t.v. in there too to take my mind off of things. All I really wanted was some really hot water and I've heard that soaking in a hot bathtub is not good for baby. So I basically sat in luke warm water - which was better than nothing.

After I got out I was just shivering and my teeth were 'a chattering and that didn't make matters any better. I went ahead and stayed up and my Mom stayed up with me too. I just had about 1 1/2 hours to go until my dentist office opened up. I pretty much just layed on the sofa with a warm compress on my face - that was the only thing that was helping alleviate some of that pain. The tooth was throbbing off and on and that pain was just becoming more than unbearable. Finally 7 a.m. rolled around and I proceeded to start calling my dentist - but they didn't answer. I kept calling until 7:45 a.m. and they still didn't answer. I told my Mom, "my luck - they are probably closed today". She knew how much pain I was in and she said we should just head on over there - so we did. Right when we pulled up I noticed that no one was there. We both just couldn't believe it because they open at 7 a.m. Monday-Friday. I burst into tears saying, "What am I going to do now???"

On our way home I started thinking of what I could do next. I thought that I could call my OB and she could get me started on some antibiotics. I knew that this tooth was abscessed and that is all the dentist would do is start me on a round of antibiotics - but I sure needed something for the pain as well. I put a call into my OB nurse and she called back and I told her the story and they were going to get with my OB and see what could be done. During this time the nurse from my dentist office called and said she would call me in some antibiotics but since I was pregnant she needed to know what my OB sees is safe for me to take. Called back my OB again and told them that they dentist just needs to know what is safe for me to take. They told me that they were waiting to hear from my OB - she was in with patients and they'd call me back.

Of course I'm just sitting on pins and needles at this point. I can't relax, I can't do shit because my f'ing mouth hurts so bad. Excuse the lang but that was how I felt - like shit! Plus, I hadn't slept in over 24 hours at this point. The nurse at my OB called back and told me that my OB is calling in an antibiotic and some pain med. THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! The nurse said she'd call it in right then. My Mom and I headed over to the pharmacy and this point you'd THINK that my Rx would have been called in - hell no!!! I had to call back my OB office yet AGAIN and they kept me on hold for over 10 minutes and I think I still would have been on hold but I hung up. At this point, yep, you got it - I burst into tears again at the pharmacy. I just wanted some damn medicine to ease my pain!!!!!!!! My Mom got the pharmacist to call my doc and they were able to get through. 5 minutes later which seemed like half an hour to me I finally had my medicine.

My doc prescribed me some Augmentin and for pain she gave me Vicodin. I was bit shocked to see that she prescribed Vicodin and I sure was nervous about taking it. I knew if my OB didn't think it was safe she wouldn't have given it to me. I popped one of those bad boys into my mouth as soon as I got into the car. She told me that I could take 1 Vicodin every 4 to 6 hours for the pain. When I got home I immediately got into bed and tried to get some sleep - so not the case. You'd think after some pain med I'd be able to sleep but I couldn't. 1 hour passed by and I was still feeling so much pain. I popped my antibiotic and had to wait a few more hours to take anymore pain med. I think I did start to doze off every now and then but I knew it was going to be a long night.

Last night I was having to take that Vicodin every 4 hours. At 5:30 a.m. I was starting to feel some relief - I guess because I had some more antibiotics in my system. I went into the restroom, turned on the light and saw my face. The whole right side of my face was completely swollen. It is actually swollen all the way up to my right eye. I look like stroke patient because of the way my mouth is with all the swelling. Very scary indeed. I told Shakil that I look like a freak. Here it is after 10 p.m. now and my face is STILL swollen. I've been using cold compresses on it - off and on. Hopefully it will be better by tomorrow. *sigh*

Until later...

Bye for now.