The flight back to Texas from Pakistan Part I

First and foremost, I must say - it feels so good to be home!! But..and a big BUT...it will never be home until Shakil is here with baby Sara and I.

Shakil, baby Sara and I went over to the inlaws my last evening in Pakistan and stayed there until it was time for baby Sara and I to go to the airport. The in-laws house is closer to the airport and plus, it would give the in-laws some more time with baby Sara. When we got there, which was after midnight I think they were still awake awaiting us I assume. We just sat in their bedroom and chatted and of course my in-laws just loved on baby Sara as much as they could. It was really sweet.

2:30 a.m. rolls around and it was time for us to go. As I sat there at the in-laws I almost hoped that time would come to a standstill and I could make the moment last longer. I just didn't want to leave my husband. :( We got everything packed up in the car and headed out. I said my goodbyes to FIL and gave MIL a goodbye hug. They walked us out and we were on our way to the airport.

It seemed like a pretty long drive to the airport or I was just thinking or hoping it would last longer. I wanted to enjoy those last moments with my husband as long as possible. We pull into the airport and drive up to security. You have to pull over this hump so they can look or try to look under your car to check if we're hiding a bomb under it. Shakil pulls up to the international departures and I take a deep breath. He gets out to go check the flight status. My flight was due to leave at 5:50 a.m. and we arrived just shy of 3 a.m. I sat in the car with Sara and waited for him to get back.

He comes back to the car and says, "it's time - they are already checking in". I feel that big lump in my throat and I just felt so sad and so happy all at the same time. You know, you'd think I'd be a pro at this by now - having to leave hubby and deal with the separation but you never are. It always feels as if I've never done it before and it just feels awful leaving him there.

Shakil gets a porter to help me with my luggage. I had 2 big pieces of luggage, 1 carry-on that was going to have to be checked baggage and Sara's diaper bag. The diaper bag just had the bare essentials which did include a bottle of water for her but the porter said that they would make me get rid of it. So, I gave it back to Shakil. The porter takes over with the luggage and Shakil walks baby Sara and I to the terminal.

I was in western clothing - a pair of capri pants and a t-shirt so you can imagine how many stares I got. It's not that common for a woman to be walking around showing some leg, even just a little. I wanted to be comfortable on that flight and last time I flew, I noticed how many were wearing western clothing. I flew PIA for those who have no idea why I was concerned about clothing. But you know, to be honest with you - I didn't care. I just wanted to be comfy on that 18 hour flight with a 7 month old.

Shakil paid the porter in advance for me and I'm pretty sure that's how it's handled anyway. There I am standing looking at the entrance to the terminal dreading leaving and I tell Shakil to say goodbye to Sara again and give her a kiss. He gives her the last kiss and leans over to give me a hug and kiss on the cheek. It's not that common for much public display of affection in Pakistan.

I think I did pretty well. I was able to keep the tears from just flowing down my face. If Sara sees me cry, she'll cry too. I just kept my composure, told Shakil I loved him and headed straight into the terminal. Once you walk into the terminal there is a table off to the side where last time they asked me some questions but this time I breezed on through. They didn't stop me. I say it was because I had a baby with me. The porter takes my luggage to be scanned. Men have to walk through the metal detector and women are taken off to a curtained area to the side where you are basically frisked or patted down.

When you get through security it opens up to all the check-in counters. PIA is the biggest counter of course and the line was outrageous. There was another flight to the U.S. heading to New York that was about to depart and believe it or not there were still people going through check-in. I got in line with the porter and stood there for a good hour. Sara kept everyone entertained with her noises she makes. I really think she liked the way her voice echoed. I had her strapped onto me with a baby carrier and it worked great not having to hold her.

About an hour and a half into waiting, the porter who surprisingly spoke some good English said that I could go sit down and he'd stay in line and watch the baggage. He didn't have to tell me twice - I was ready to sit down! I grabbed Sara's diaper bag that had all the important stuff and went to sit down. I was sitting next to a very nice lady who was traveling alone with 2 children and she was just very friendly to me and I enjoyed talking to her and it made the time go by quicker.

Finally, it was my turn to go check in. I walk up to the counter and the man takes our passports and tickets. He does his thing with them and issues boarding passes for us. I confirm with him that I am indeed sitting in bulkhead and I also wanted to confirm that the bassinet was going to be available. Of course, the guy couldn't tell me crap and told me to ask when I got on board. I wasn't happy with his answer but what else could I do ya know. He finishes up and tells me he needs 2 copies of Sara and I's passports. Uhmmmm...I tell the man, "I have 1 copy of them". He says that they now require 2 copies and I had to go get copies done. I had to go pay Rs 35 for each per copy. Now that is not cheap for Pakistan. It's a rip off! Plus, I had to stand in line again and the men were just so rude trying to get in front of me. This one man walked over with like 6 or 7 passports and just got right in front of me. I did speak up and tell him that the line was behind me and he was going to have to wait because I had been waiting. He did apologize but it was a sassy apology. Sheesh.

So I got the damn copies, took them back to the check-in counter. Sara and I were on our way. Next stop, immigration. I'm in the line for foreigners and walk up to the immigration officer. He takes our passports and takes a bit longer looking at Sara's. Now, Sara was born in Pakistan but I had her birth registered with the American Embassy as "birth abroad". The officer looks up at me and says, "where's her visa"? I was a bit shocked but firmly responded that she was born in Pakistan and I could provide birth certificate if he needed. Plus, on her U.S. passport it does say she was born in Pakistan. Come on, read!! I told him that it was the first time she's traveling. He didn't give me anymore hassle and let us head on out.

I had arrived at the airport about 3 a.m. and didn't get to the gate until about 5:15 a.m. My flight was due to leave at 5:50 a.m. So when I got the gate, I didn't even have to wait. We were able to go straight onto the plane which was nice. We got onto the plane, found our seat and it was indeed bulkhead. There was the nicest woman and child sitting next to us. She immediately introduced herself and child to me and we just chatted until the plane took off. It's always hard when the plane takes off. Just sitting there thinking of my hubby that I'm leaving behind.

I'm home!!!

Just a quick post to say that baby Sara and I made it home to the U.S.!! It feels so wonderful to here! Over 24 hours to get home so needless to say - I'm EXHAUSTED or I'd post more. Let me get past the big time jet lag and I'll be back soon!

Until later...

Bye for now.

Goodbye Pakistan!

I don't mean that to sound like I'm just so happy to leave here. I'm happy to be leaving to see my family after 1 year but I'm not happy about leaving my hubby here! :( It's never easy regardless of how soon he gets to the U.S.

This is my last post until I reach the U.S.!! Please keep baby Sara and I in your prayers that we make it to the U.S. safely.

Until later...

Bye for now.

America

You know I'm going to get all emotional when I get back to the U.S. when I start to cry hearing the song "America" by Neil Diamond. This evening I was watching an episode of Oprah and she had Neil Diamond on. He comes on the stage and I start to hear the music of "America" and tears just start to flow. I sniffled the entire song!!! I grew up listening to Neil Diamond and I can remember knowing the words to many, many songs at a young age because that was ALL my Mom played in the car. My Mom is a BIG fan of Neil.

Today, Shakil and I went to get some items that I need to take back to the U.S. Shakil also wanted me to cook some chicken for him - Chicken karahi to be exact. Now, the chicken we buy is frozen and I was hoping to get this cooked before he goes to work at 4:30 p.m. We get home and it is soooo hot in the kitchen and already I'm getting bitchy about cooking in the heat. Shakil did say he could just pick something up and take it to work. Then, he said he'd just cook the chicken. So then I start to feel bad and I tell him to just help me prep for it and he did. Very nice, eh? I didn't end up cooking the Karahi. I cooked another dish that takes less time. Anyways, I got it cooked in time and he was able to have some before going to work. Not bad.

Tonight is Shakil's last day of work before he gets 4 days off!! He requested to take off the whole week that I leave. So he doesn't go back to work until Friday night and I leave EARLY Friday. So, I look forward to spending some quality time with him before we leave. Plus, he'll get some special time with baby Sara!

I still can't believe I've been here 1 year. I never thought I'd last this long here because it's just not easy at all here for me. I could never really adjust here because there was always that part of me that wanted to go back to the U.S. as soon as possible. Things are easier this time emotionally since Shakil will be coming soon. I dunno though, I'm still gonna cry when I leave! :(

Until later...

Bye for now.

New pics of baby Sara!!!

I had a request for some new pics of Sara and here are some of Sara that were taken very recently. She is now 6 1/2 months - can ya believe it?!?!? She has almost mastered crawling and is starting to pull up and stand. She is just so proud of herself when she does. It's too cute! Anyway, I could go on and on about her - enjoy the pics!! :)

You missed 'em!! They've come and gone.

Until later...

Bye for now.

1 week left and the pressure builds!!!

1 week left here for me here and the pressure is building for Shakil. What I mean by pressure is - pressure by his family. Since Shakil was forced to come back here in January of 2004, his family has been on his case about making some big money here. Well, we all know that you can't make the big money over night and most people never make "the big money" or whatever that is. It's just not that easy and if it was so easy, don't ya think he'd already have done it?!?!

Shakil comes from a very influential family and most of them think that Shakil has done nothing here. Like he really needs to get up off his ass and make the big bucks to maintain some sort of "status" as they like to refer to it here. Shakil is not a lazy person by any stretch of the imagination. He's worked for and paid for everything he has. Shakil had some big culture shock when he was forced back here in 2004 - it had been over 10 years since he lived here. It took a bit for him to get his bearings and see what he needed to do here. He worked for his grandfathers company for over a year and decided to go out on his own and find something better and he did but just not enough compared to what he was making in the U.S. Since then, he's been working to find something better because he or I really had no idea when his visa would be approved. Here we are over 2 1/2 years later and it's finally getting processed! :)

So the family is really putting on the pressure now because of the visa finally getting processed. They want us to settle here in Pakistan. They feel that Shakil and I will be happier here and financially we'll be making more money here. Well, most don't make as much here as you can in the U.S. But, believe it or not there are people making millions here. You know, it's not just about money with us. We feel we just have better opportunities in the U.S. and that is where we want to raise baby Sara. It's our choice, no one elses.

I knew the family would really start to get on Shakil's ass when the visa came to an end. I feel bad for him because I know its going to get even harder on him once I leave. The family will see that I won't be here to influence him so much and maybe they can pursuade him. They can try but I'm glad that Shakil is able to stand his ground and do what he feel is best forb he, I and baby Sara.

So I leave in 1 week!! Can you believe it!?!?! It's finally here and I'm so excited. I cannot wait to see my family after 1 year. I've looked back on my time spent here and it feels like forever since I've been back home. It feels good to know that I can leave here and I don't have to come back. Well, I don't have to come back and live. Soon, Shakil and I will be able to start our life - a whole new life in the U.S. together as a family.

Until later...

Bye for now.

Getting close - the countdown is on!

I have about 11 more nights here in Pakistan and then baby Sara and I are off to the U.S. The whole mixed feelings sort of thing is settling in once again. Part of me is so happy to be leaving to go see my family that I haven't seen in a year and the other part of me is sad about leaving Shakil here once again. I do think it will be a bit different this time considering the visa process is finished - meaning they're going to be granting the visa now. I know he'll be following behind me shortly and joining baby Sara and I in the U.S. where we will be settling. Then, we will only be returning to Pakistan for vacations.

Shakil called my airline to see what guidelines they were following and they are following the same guidelines as UK - meaning all my carry-on will have to go in plastic bags. I hear they are only allowing the bare essentials. This makes it a bit difficult for mothers traveling with infants. This is for our safety so I know it's for the best.

I still know that it's going to be hard walking into that airline terminal and turning to wave bye to Shakil with baby Sara in my arms - leaving him behind. I dread that moment - really I do.

Until later...

Bye for now.

No invitation needed...

Well, not really I would say. Tuesday and Wednesday Shakil was off work and we spent both days over at my FIL/MIL's. Now, I asked him on Wednesday if we went then I'd like for us not to go on Friday since he was off again. I'd like for us to do something just he, I and baby Sara. I don't think it's too much to ask really considering on Tuesday and Wednesday we spent the entire day over there and we didn't home until late.

So here it is Friday and MIL calls asking if we're coming over. My hubby has a big problem with saying no we're not coming so he just said he didn't know and he also informed MIL that it was me that didn't want to go over there - nice, huh? Not really considering he agreed himself that we wouldn't go on Friday. So we're sitting here with not much to do and I tell Shakil that we can go but I just don't want to stay there all day. We can go have lunch and spend an hour or so, then return home. He agreed. So we get ready and head over to FIL/MIL's.

We arrive there at the gate and the watchman informs us that MIL is not there. This has happened before that MIL just leaves. But, this time I understood because Shakil did tell her he didn't know if we were coming and that I didn't want to go, remember? So watchman says that MIL has gone over to her fathers house. We head over there and I told Shakil on the way if there was a LOT of people there that I didn't want to stay. These days with Shakil's grandparents being back from London after 4 months, it's been hopping with lots of relatives.

We walk inside and I already hear a dull roar of voices. The door to the main room was open just slightly and I peek in - it was full and I do mean full of women. Shakil's grandmother was there, some cousins and some others. I turned around and told Shakil that I wasn't staying. I just didn't feel comfortable because I wasn't invited. I didn't see any men either so Shakil should have felt a bit uncomfortable too.

We come home and Shakil devours some Biryani and then he takes baby Sara and I to McDonalds. We sat there for quite a while then went to pick up some chicken at the supermarket and headed home. We hadn't been home 30 minutes when MIL calls. She says that we came over there to his grandfathers but didn't even come in as if it was all our fault or something. He informed her that we weren't invited and then she didn't say anything after that. She didn't even answer her cell phone the entire afternoon either. I mean can we say rude?

Until later...

Bye for now.

A close call...

Another rainy day here again. It was gloomy outside all day. I don't think any sun peeked out at all until right before it was about to set. Shakil, baby Sara and I didn't roll out of bed until well after 1 p.m. I had been up before to feed Sara and all though. Now remember we stay up pretty late because of Shakil's working hours. Last night we were watching the movie "The Notebook" at about 3 a.m. - which btw we enjoyed it. I guess we like sappy movies.

So we roll out of bed at like 1 p.m. and we head downstairs to have some lunch which was leftover Biryani which for some reason didn't turn out as well this time. I've made it several times now and it's always been pretty good. This time it was kind of bland. I may have added too much water now that I think about it. Well, I did add some more masala in hopes to kick it up a notch.

Shakil left for work at his normal time and I was in the mood to get some cleaning and laundry done. Laundry Tara, what the hell happened? Well, it needed to be done and it sure wasn't going to get done by itself. I didn't know how I was going to get it done because of the rain. I hang the clothes outside and it is no fun pulling clothes off the line in the rain lemme tell ya!

I started off getting the laundry done and when I finished the laundry I decided to go ahead and start the sweeping and then I'd mop. Well, with this humidity right now I was looking for a way to get the cleaning done and not just be a pool of sweat by the time I was finished or during for that matter. So, I decided to do the sweeping/mopping in just my bath towel. Yes, you read that right...my bath towel. Call me nuts, crazy but it worked...for a while.

I went downstairs and I was finishing up sweeping when I got to thinking. "What if my father-in-law and brother-in-law show up"? They always come by at least once a week - sometimes more because my FIL has some things stored here. But I thought nawww, they won't come by today and kept on with what I was doing. When I finished I grabbed up the mop bucket and was going to take it upstairs and then I heard a car door slam and then another car door. I thought "no way...it couldn't be". I quickly went upstairs and checked and yep, my FIL and BIL had come. THANK GOD, I made upstairs before they arrived. I can't even imagine what they would have thought seeing me cleaning in just a bath towel. How embarrassing!!!! LOL

Until later...

Bye for now.

The stolen lunch.

The morning started out rainy here and of course I had clothes out on the line. Baby Sara woke up about 7 a.m. and I noticed it was raining. I scooped up baby Sara out of her crib and put her in bed with Shakil. I went outside and got all the clothes off the line which probably were almost dry because I had put them out the night before. Gotta love it, but ya don't gotta like it! It rained the entire day though and I thought I'd take advantage of the cooler weather and cook up some biryani for the hubby.

Prepping for biryani sure does take me a while. Also, the fact that my good knife SUCKS doesn't help too much either. I do have a mini food processor but I stress the mini. It's really a waste of time for me to try and use the processor to cut up my onions, etc even with the dull knife. I started at about 1:30 p.m. and wasn't finished with the entire dish until 3:30 p.m. I was of course drenched with sweat. The idea that it might be cooler because of the rain was so not the case. The humidity was in full effect. It felt cool outside but inside was a steam bath - at least in the kitchen anyway.

When I finished up I pulled out one of my glad containers. You know those reusable plastic containers? They are pretty nifty. I put some biryani for Shakil and that was going to be his lunch to take to work. I left it on the counter for him since he was going to be leaving for work in about 30 minutes.

Point of this post is that this evening I get an email from Shakil. He asks me if he left his lunch behind at home. I go downstairs and check everywhere and no, he didn't leave it behind. I email him back and tell him and he emails back again informing me that someone stole his lunch! How could someone steal his lunch? Just pathetic. He asked all his coworkers and his supervisor and of course no one knows anything. So my poor hubby had no lunch tonight. :-( They have a cafeteria there and he can order something but he spent his entire lunch which is 30 minutes searching and asking about his stolen lunch. He says he can get something on his break. Well, that makes me feel a little better that he's not gonna starve until he gets home!

Until later...

Bye for now.

Little of this...little of that...

Shakil was off the past 2 days and back at work today. Wednesday we went over to the in-laws and spent most of the day there. My sister-in-law is here from London with her 2 kids. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting her in person or Shakil's older brother. Shakil's brother was supposed to be coming too but unfortunately had to have some surgery and that has prevented him from coming at the moment. I haven't even met his older brother in person yet either. I've talked to both of them on the phone but in person is all together different. I really don't think I'm going to get the opportunity to meet his brother because he's probably going to get here after I've left. I'm heading back to the states in 3 weeks!!!

My sister-in-law is a very pleasant person. She has always been so nice on the phone and was very nice in person. She seems a bit quiet but she did tell me she's just been exhausted. Her kids are very well behaved and she is quite strict with them. For example, she is limiting their ice-cream. My mother-in-law sent the driver for ice-cream and my sister-in-law had told one of the kids that she already had her ice-cream for the day and she wasn't allowed to have any more. Of course, my MIL was pushing to get her to have it but my SIL really pushed right back with a big NO, she can't have it. My SIL said that she allows them to have ice-cream once a day and then that's it - no more. I did feel bad when the other kids were eating ice-cream and then there is one sitting there that can't have any.

In the evening, Shakil, baby Sara and I went for swimming. We had bought Sara a new inflatable tube that she could sit in and float in and we had been anxious to give it a try. When we put Sara in it she gave us a big ol' grin so I knew it was going to work out well. We spent about an hour or so there and then we were going to head out for dinner. We went home and changed and got ready to go for dinner. We left with the intention of going to McDonalds but they built this realllllllllly and I do mean REALLY nice Subway next door to the McDonalds. Shakil and I were saying how we never saw a Subway in the U.S. that was this nice. So we decided to go to Subway. We walked inside, sat down in a booth and were looking over the menu. We must have pondered over the menu for like 20 minutes and then decided to just go to Pizza Hut. I swear we always end up at Pizza Hut. We got home about 2 a.m. and didn't get to bed until well after 4 a.m. 9 a.m. rolls around and the phone rings - it's MIL. She calls to tell Shakil that the cable is out. What the heck? She knowssssss we don't get to bed until late most of the time and she just had to call bright and early to say the damn cable is out. Sheesh.

Yesterday we went back over to the in-laws again. We were first going to go buy this new shopping mall but I did suggest that we should call up MIL and see if she wanted to go. Nice of me, eh? Shakil was prepared to just go ahead without MIL but at the very last minute he decided that maybe we should go by and pick up MIL - we were close by. It took MIL like an hour to get ready and go and Shakil decided that he'd call up the SIL and ask if they wanted to go out for lunch with us. Lunch weren't really in the plans but Shakil thought it would be a nice gesture.

So an hour later - maybe longer, MIL was ready to go. We got everything ready to go and headed over to SIL's house to pick up she and the kids. We were of course invited inside and were served a glass of juice and snacked on some nuts. By the way, the nuts were very good. They were cashews that were coated in what seemed to be black pepper and surprisingly very tasty. The were another plate of cashews that were spicy and didn't give those a try. I love spicy don't get me wrong but I didn't want to seem like the oh so hungry one going after all the cashews.

We headed over to McDonalds and I had the McArabia combo with a mango shake. MIL had the same thing, SIL didn't eat, the kids ate and Shakil nibbled on my fries and had sips of my shake and finished off my sandwich. We were going to go the new shopping mall when we finished but I was just really tired from the 4 hours sleep the night before and anxious to get home and catch some sleep.

We hadn't been back at the in-laws house more than 30 minutes and started getting sick to my stomach. The longer I sat there the sicker and sicker I started to feel. Then you start getting that feeling in your throat and I knew that I needed to go puke. I ran straight to the restroom and puked. I did feel somewhat better afterwards but it all started again on our way home. Luckily, I made it home without puking anymore. When we got home I spent about an hour or so puking and I couldn't even keep down pepto-bismol or water for that matter. I dunno know what happened. MIL had the same food and Shakil had some of it and they had no problems. My bad luck I guess. I think I got to sleep about 10 p.m. which was great and slept until 6 a.m. when baby Sara got up.

Today I have felt much better and no more problems. Shakil even brought me home a burger when he went to pick up some grocery items I needed and it has settled just fine with my stomach.

So I mentioned in my first paragraph that I have 3 weeks left until I leave!!! I soooooooo can't wait!!!! I can't believe it's been 1 year since I've been back to the states. I really miss home.

Until later...

Bye for now.

Congratulations!!!!

To masala dosti who had a healthy baby boy!!! He's just gorgeous!!! I've had the pleasure of meeting masala dosti in person and I can't wait to meet the newest addition to their family! :-)

Until later...

Bye for now.