Pics from the party!!!

I've been so busy the last few days with the new job. I managed to put in over 42 hours in 3 days. Our clinic has been booming with business which is great but I come home pooped!! I wanted to post some pics from Shakil's welcome home and party!! Enjoy!!

ooooh, you missed 'em!!!

The arrival...

Shakil was due to arrive Monday evening and it seemed like that day just took forever to pass by. His flight was due in about 6:40 p.m. and Shakil had told me he just knew he'd be in immigration for quite a while but my Mom was getting ancy and we just went ahead out to the airport and got there about 6:45 p.m. When we got there his plane had already landed and I got the butterfly feeling in my tummy because I was just so excited.

There was another plane that had landed from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico and you sure could distinguish those passengers from the flight Shakil was due in on. Shakil was coming in from London - that was his connection. It was pretty cool here Monday night and those Mexico passengers had 'em some shorts and tank tops on. Bet they froze their tails off when they went outside!! ha ha!

So my Mom, little Sara and I are just chillin' there waiting for Shakil and by the time 7:45 p.m. rolled around, I was looking around and noticed that we were just about the only people waiting. There was a big entrance Shakil would be coming out and everytime the doors would open up, I'd try to sneak a peek and see if I could see inside but of course I couldn't.

By 8 p.m. you know I was really getting overly ancy and I'd get up and go walk around a bit and then I decided to check the arrivals board and it had already been so long, Shakil's flight wasn't even listed anymore. So I'm standing there just staring at the board and then all of the sudden at just a few minutes past 8 p.m., Shakil comes out the door. Big ol' smile came over his face and I said, "there's your daddy" to Sara. I went as quickly as I could and gave him a big hug and smooch. He immediately grabbed Sara she looked at him like WHO ARE YOU???? She smiled when we were walking over to him but when he grabbed her to hold, she gave him this stare of who the heck are you? Shakil took it well and just laughed.

We headed home and Shakil was telling us that he spent over an hour in immigration. They took him off to a separate room for some questioning and went over his documents. First question they asked, "why did you overstay your visa?" I'm not surprised that they questioned him but all that stuff has been waived and it's over and done with. Oh well, the point is he made it back safely and all is well!! :)

I couldn't be happier having him home. Life is back to normal now - well as normal as life can be. He brought home some good stuff so that is always nice! The next day after he arrived Sara still looked at Shakil as if he was pretty much a stranger. We spent most of the day after he arrived just running around everywhere. He reallllly wanted to go to Walmart and look around and of course I was just fine with that. We did go to the International food store for some stuff - roti, chavel...stuff like that.

Tomorrow I will post some pics from Shakil's arrival and pics from the welcome home party we had yesterday! :) I may do it tonight!

Until later...

Bye for now.

Busy busy!

I'm here and will definitely post an update this evening!! There's a big ol' welcome home party for Shakil this afternoon with 80 friends/relatives of mine and it should be a lot of fun. So please come back by and visit later when I post an update!! :)

Until then...

He's home!!!!

Just got home with Shakil about half an hour ago and can you believe it - I'm actually blogging. WTH??? :) Anyways, will post tomorrow!!

Until then...

And he's off!!

Shakil has officially departed from Pakistan!! He's on his way!! :) The plane left about 1 1/2 hours late. I spoke to him briefly while he was waiting at his gate and I could hear the excitement in his voice! Please keep him in your prayers.

Until later...

Last call from Shakil in Pakistan

I just talked to Shakil and he's leaving for the airport in about an hour. That'll be the last time I talk to him unless I give him a ring while he's in the airport waiting. The circuits must be pretty busy at this time because I couldn't get through to him and he had to call me. So if I do give him another ring it may be tough getting through. Don't think I won't try!! ha ha!

I can't believe the day of his arrival is almost here!! I'm so incredibly excited and so happy! It's been a little over 2 months since I've seen him and you know that feels like an eternity.

Please keep Shakil in your prayers for a safe flight back home to where baby Sara and I are anxiously awaiting his arrival!! :)

Until later...

Looking back part 2

I had left my previous post saying that the culture shock was big...very big. I mean, I knew I was going to have a hard time but at the same time I knew Pakistan was where I needed to be right then. If you would have asked me 5 years prior to that or even 2 years - I would say you're crazy, there is no way I'd ever go there. You know here in the US a lot of people "think" or it's forced into our heads by what you see on television that some countries like Pakistan are just somewhere you shouldn't go. I mean, I could tell someone "I'm going to Pakistan" and they'd say "WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?!?!" Uhhh...did you NOT just hear me??? Yes, Pakistan and then the next thing they would say is "Are you scared?" I was never scared while I was in Pakistan. My safety was never a concern. I always felt safe.

But yes, the culture is different from what I'm accustomed to here in the U.S. But it's not a bad thing at all. In fact, after I got used to Pakistan, I really started to enjoy the culture. I think you just learn to go with the flow. That was something that I really had to put into my head. "Try not to bitch so much Tara, it's not that bad and just go with the flow" is what I'd say to myself. But once you really get used to the lifestyle, the culture and the many differences you see in everyday life - it's not bad at all. In fact, I really learned so much while I was there.

The language barrier was a problem at functions but again, after a while you just get used to it. But everyone in Shakil's family spoke English and I'm capable enough of learning Urdu but never really cracked down and learned it. I had the desire but I guess I just had it in my mind "I'll never learn it". But thing is when you hear it all the time - you do start to slowly learn. And it's not that Shakil didn't want me to learn it, he did. I'd love to learn and God willing one day I will. I understand a hell of a lot more than I did 2 years ago. So that's progress. Little by little, I'll make the steps.

So when I look back at how something started so horrible by my husband being forced out of a country he had made his life for over 10 years....it really turned out quite well for us. There was a lot of hell and I do mean A LOT of hell we had to endure during the 2 1/2 years of waiting but I wouldn't change a thing. Our marriage is even stronger because of it. I know more about the Pakistani culture and look at our beautiful daughter, Sara that was born in Pakistan. We have so much to be thankful for and I will never take as much for granted like I used to. Life is so short and we really need to live each day to the fullest. Make the most of your life, get out and travel if you can, learn other cultures - it's wonderful!

So on that note....

Until later...

Bye for now.

Looking back...

I really can't believe that it's been 2 1/2 years since Shakil and I started this journey together - well, yes I can but all in all it went by quicker this last year than that first year.

I'll never forget the day when I kissed Shakil goodbye like I always did before heading to work and never even knowing that would be the last time I'd see him that way for quite a long time. I head to work just like any other day and perform my many duties and around 10 a.m. in the morning I get that call on my mobile phone from Shakil. "He's never called before while I'm working" is what I thought and I picked it up immediately. I hear some muffled sounds of people talking but I don't hear anything from Shakil. I send him a few emails, afterall, he was supposed to be going to the INS office that morning. Maybe just calling me to tell me how it went? No, he wouldn't do that while I'm work. He'd wait until I got home to tell me all about it.

The afternoon rolled on by and it seemed like forever for my day to finish. I just couldn't wait to get out of that office and get a hold of Shakil. I'm not "supposed" to make personal calls at work but don't think that didn't stop me that day. I must have called his mobile a hundred times - no response. The most overwhelming feeling of emptiness came across me. I just didn't know what was going on and I've got that big lump in my tummy and feeling like I need to puke. I was so upset and worried why he wasn't answering his mobile - he always answers it, is what I thought.

I rush home thinking I'll find him tinkering with the computer or him sitting on the sofa watching t.v. - nothing...and no evidence that he had even returned back to my apartment. You can't even begin to imagine how I felt. Now remember, if you had followed my journey from the beginning you'd know that Shakil had filed for voluntary departure and it had been granted but he was past his departure date because the INS office had given him a report date PAST the voluntary departure date. So you might understand how nervous and scared I was considering he really was supposed leave prior to that voluntary departure date but didn't because he had been given that report date past it. If that makes any sense...

Shakil and I had the most amazing connection and we really had that connection since the day we went. We were set up and I never thought I'd fall for him. But we just really clicked from day one. We spent as much time as we could together because we knew that our time together would be short lived due to his immigration issue.

When I found out that Shakil had been detained by INS, I just felt my whole life crash in an instant. He was a part of me and it felt as if he had been kidnapped from me. It was a horrible, horrible feeling and I hope and pray that none of you ever have to go through something like this in your lifetime.

Shakil was taken to a maximum security prison - yes, prison - about a 3 hr drive from where I live. I'd leave after work on Friday's and drive out there, spend the night and be ready early Saturday morning for visitation. We were allowed 2 hours together while he was detained. Yes, 2 hours once a week. This went on for over 3 months. Rain or shine, I'd drive out there. I only missed one weekend because I got sick with flu/pneumonia at the same time.

The day Shakil gave me a call and told me that he was getting out - it was like music to my ears. I'll never forget where I was, what I was doing...it's just something that sticks in your mind forever because we thought the day would never come. Immigration just kept dragging their feet and telling us there were no seats available to Pakistan for him. And finally the day came and he was out of that hellhole. That's what I call it because that is what it was. He didn't deserve to be in there and a lot of those immigration detainees don't deserve it either. Now, detainees that have their green card and have abused it, committed murder, robbery, etc. Yes, I feel they deserve to be in there because I have no sympathy for people like that.

I always knew while Shakil was being detained that I'd follow right behind him when he was sent back to Pakistan. I had my mind made up. There was never any question. We knew we wanted to get married, we knew wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and we knew we wanted to start family one day and live happily ever after. Isn't that what we all want one day? Just to be happy and enjoy life as much as we can with the one we love. I felt Shakil and I deserved it. We had gone this far together, gone through so much shit and damnit we were going to do it! We weren't going to let immigration stop us. I used to tell Shakil, "Well, you may not be able to stay here in the U.S. but they can't stop me from going to you in Pakistan". And that is what I did.

We got married in Pakistan in February of 2004. I was able to spend 2 short weeks because I did have a job to get back to in the U.S. at that time. When I went back to the U.S., I was just heartbroken. I felt so alone, lost and really didn't know where to turn. Thank God I had a roommate at that time who was such a big help to emotionally because I just couldn't bare the thought of living alone and not getting to see Shakil.

We spent 10 LONG months apart. We'd talk every single day - maybe only missing 2 or 3 days out of those 10 months. It finally became more than I could handle and I decided that I wanted to go back to Pakistan and be with Shakil. Again, I wasn't going to let immigration keep us apart.

In January of 2005, I headed back to Pakistan. It was so wonderful to be back with him again and really get to experience "married life" together. Remember, we got married in February of 2004 and only got to spend 2 weeks together before I had to head back to the U.S. So we had not even began to experience the married life together.

Culture shock was big...really big...and I had a very hard time. You may ask, "What was it that was so hard for you Tara?" And I'll discuss more in my next post.

Until then...

The excitement builds!!

Yeah, it's building alright! Shakil arrives into the US in just 3 short days! Any of you who have followed our journey since the beginning or even ones that just started reading our journey - can you believe it??? I'm going to post some more about this in the next 2 days or so.

I think I mentioned that we will be staying here at my Mom's for a bit. Just to sort of gather our thoughts, save up some dough and see where we wanna go from here. Not that we'll be venturing off too far!!

I had been organizing around and noticed or maybe just never even payed attention but there is no lock on my bedroom door. In fact, there are no locks on any doors in this house except for the bathrooms/master bedroom. What the heck? So today, while my Mom was gone - I switched doorknobs. I took the doorknob of her door (the master bedroom door) and swapped it with my bedroom doorknob. Now, taking those off was simple and you'd THINK that putting it back would be easy but for some damn reason one of the screws just won't go in all the way and wouldn't you know it - it's my Mom's doorknob. She hasn't noticed yet but I'm sure she will. But heck, Shakil and I need a lock on our door. Not that she would come barging in our room but I'm just making sure!

Keeping my hubby fed is a big task. He likes to have all meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner). Never likes to miss a meal. If he wakes up at noon - he will still have his breakfast and add on lunch stuff at the same time. So since I start back to work on the 15th, he had requested me to pre-make him some burgers that he could just grab out of the freezer and cook 'em up when need be for lunch or something. It's going to be interesting how we manage that first week considering I work three 12 hour shifts in a row. Uff!

Shakil thinks taking care of little Sara will be a breeeeeeeeeeeze. Ha! Yeah, if only it was that easy!! He has no idea what he's in for and it's not like I haven't told him. When I left Pakistan, she wasn't crawling yet. She started crawling a few days after I got back here in the US. So he hasn't been around her since she became more mobile. Oh this is gonna be fun!! He's just going by how she was when I left - well, things have changed...big time!

Until later...

Bye for now.

Nailed it!!

I went for the interview today. This interview was for an Urgent Care Clinic. I got myself all primped and ready for the interview and headed out a good 45 minutes prior to the time - don't wanna be late ya know! Plus, I really had not been to this area in a long time so I wanted to make sure I knew where I was going.

It took me about 20 minutes to get there and surprisingly, I found the office with no problems. When I pulled up and parked, I kind of checked out the place from my car before getting out. You know...scoping it out! When I walked in, I was very pleased at how nice the clinic is. Typical clinic with a front desk and and waiting area. Nice and well kept. I always like to see that.

It wasn't very busy at the time I went - just after lunch at 1 p.m. I did arrive about 15 minutes early to fill out any necessary application, etc. Upon finishing the application, I was called back pretty quickly. There were 2 women interviewing me. 1 was the wife of one of the doctors and the other was the office manager.

The interview went fantastic!! I discussed the pay and they are willing to pay what I'm asking - which is always good!! I was offered the position and asked if I could return tomorrow to just kind of hang out, get a feel for the place for a few hours. So I have to be there bright and early at 7:45 a.m. I'll be there till noon. I'll start full-time on Monday, the 13th! This time I know for sure I'm hired because they sent me home with the new hire paperwork and benefits, etc.

Thanks for all your kind words after that other crappy experience I had with the last interview. Just wasn't meant for me!

When I got home from the interview, my Mom told me that someone had just called from an office I sent off a resume to last night. I did call them and set up interview for Wednesday. This one is about 10 minutes max from me. Hubby said to go and at least check it out - wouldn't hurt and see who pays more and what I like better.

Until later...

Bye for now.

Would you ever move back to Pakistan?

This question came up in a yahoo group I belong to and I think it is a really good question. So, I decided to discuss it here on my blog.

When I met my husband in 2003, I knew nothing of the Pakistani culture and when I went to Pakistan in 2004 and got married there - it was a big culture shock I must say. It's not just the culture shock though, it's just all over different there. Which I knew was to be expected but until you get there - you just have no idea.

Poverty is overwhelming in Pakistan. I know there is poverty everywhere and I'm not just singling out Pakistan by any means. It goes without notice there. You see extreme poverty. I've seen poverty here in the U.S. but it's nothing like I saw there. I feel so bad for all the innocent men, women, children and babies there that have no home, no food, no nothing. They have the clothes on their backs and that's it. I've seen many living under a cloth that had been hung over some poles. They are living on the side of the road having to sleep there, eat there, bathe there. Very, very upsetting to see. It really does put things in perspective for you. It makes you more thankful for every little thing you have and to never take things for granted.

Family is big in Pakistan. What I mean by "big" is that there is a lot of closeness. I admire that immensely. Shakil sees so many of his aunts, uncles, cousins and more extended family several times a week. In my family, I'm lucky if I see my brothers once a month, not to mention my extended family - it's even longer than that since I've seen them. All of Shakil's family does live in close proximity of one another but my brothers are only about 30 to 45 minutes away and I think they could make it over here to my Mom's more than just on holidays. 2 of Shakil's mamu's (which would be his uncles but really means "Mom's brother") go visit their father every morning before work from what I've heard and observed. I think that is just wonderful. You can really feel the closeness in the family.

Life is much more simple. I think that people there can really take the time to stop and smell the roses. For most, the working day starts well after 10 a.m. I do know that some start earlier but again, I'm just going by what I've seen and observed. Most businesses do stay open later - well after 9 p.m. Friday's in Pakistan are a whole different story. Friday's in Pakistan are much more laid back and relaxed. ***Jumu'ah also known as Friday prayer is a congregational prayer that Muslims hold every Friday just after noon. It replaces the Zuhr prayer performed on other days of the week and is obligatory for all Muslim males who are residing, pubescent and unexcused. It is an obligation for men to pray the Friday prayer in congregation at a Mosque. It is recommended that Muslim women perform the prayer in congregation, but they have the option of performing the Zuhr prayer privately or in a mosque; going to the mosque is not obligatory. Businesses actually completely shutdown for Jummah prayer and re-open afterwards. I've never seen anything shutdown for prayer in the U.S. and I bet we never will. I wonder how many Muslims are given a hard time by their employer in the U.S. for needing to leave for Jummah prayer?

Cost of living. It is really much cheaper to live in Pakistan. Now, the wages are lower - much lower which would explain the cost of living being so much lower but it really is cheaper to live there than here in the U.S. Now on the other hand, I have seen things in the grocery stores be just about the same in price and most, if not all of the imported items are very pricey. It can be very cheap to go out for a meal. Shakil and I could go eat at Pizza Hut for Rs 600 which is $10 and that included a large pizza, salad and a pitcher of soda - which is a pretty good deal. We'd usually go about once a week. They have great prices on meats usually but then that comes with the hygiene standards not being so good unless you want to pay for the pricier frozen meats for example, chicken. All in all, if you buy something that is locally made, we've noticed it to be much cheaper. Petrol prices are very high there right now. Shakil tells me that it is Rs 57.79 per liter. Now that is almost 1 U.S. dollar per liter. So here in the U.S. where we use gallons - you are looking at almost $4 a gallon. Shakil thinks in some ways it all balances out in regards to the cost of living there and the cost of living here in the U.S.

Domestic help. Now this may be a touchy subject with some and please don't get offended when I explain what I've seen, done and observed. Domestic help is very common in most Pakistani homes. And in many cases, the help is from a young child at the age of 12 or 13. When I went back to Pakistan last year, Shakil arranged for some help for us. It was a female girl and she was young. She was to be a live-in. I have sort of mixed feelings about the domestic help. On one hand, you are helping them by providing them with a better living environment, clothing, healthy food and other things that are given to them. But then I felt bad because she was young and she sure shouldn't have to be working at that age. I became very fond of her and she was really a big help to me after Sara was born. She helped me with laundry, cooking and did most all of the cleaning. She would watch Sara for me while I would try to at least get a shower, she would rock her for me and just really helped me so much. I know this is a normal thing in a lot of Pakistani homes in Pakistan. I never walked into a house that didn't have some sort of domestic help.

So after going over these topics you're probably wondering if I'm ever going to answer if I would ever move back there. The answer is yes. If Shakil finds that later on down the road or just later in our life that we should move back - I'd go. I learned so much during that 1 1/2 years that I lived there and it really did take a full year to get accustomed to things and even still I'm not fully accustomed at all. I still have LOTS to learn and I'll never know it all.

Until later...

Bye for now.


***retrieved information from Wikipedia

Tomorrow's topic...

Is "Would I ever move back to Pakistan?" So please come back and visit! :)

Until then...

update...

So I finally heard back about the position. She decided to go the email route and let me down easily that they have already filled the position, we'll keep your resume on file, blah blah blah.

You know I was completely mislead with this position and that is why I'm so bothered and or upset by it. This woman offered me the position with a Nov 13th start date and the emails me now - a week later to tell me its been filled. I mean, the nerve of some people.

Oh well, back to the drawing board....

Do I or don't I?

So I had an interview last week - Thursday to be exact. It was an Opthamology office where I'd be working in the front office. Something I've done for the past several years. Great office, even better location - 10 to 15 minutes max from home. Absolutely no traffic which rocks!

The interview went really well, the office manager who I will call K walked me around the office and at the end she asked me when I could start and I told her the 13th, she agreed on pay, etc. K said I just needed to meet with one of the docs - the one that owns the practice. K asked if I could return on Monday to meet with him and of course I accepted.

I go in on Monday and meet with the doc. That meeting went really well. The doc just asked me a few questions and at the end asking me when I could start. I responded again with the 13th. He told me he would talk with K and that was that. The meeting was no more than 10 minutes tops. He just told me about the practice, what he was looking for, etc, etc.

Wednesday rolls around and I hadn't heard a thing from that office. So, I decided to put a call in to K and just follow-up. Not bad, right? Well, I didn't get to talk to K. She was on another call and I had to leave a voicemail. Here is what I said in my voicemail:

"Hi K, this is Tara...I'm just calling to follow up and see if you had made a decision regarding the front office position. Hadn't heard anything and I just really needed to know where to go from here. I'd appreciate it if you could please give me a call back at ........ and I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you, bye."

I had made that call about 4 p.m. and never received a return phone call. I just shrugged it off and chalked it up to being late in the afternoon and she was probably just busy and she'd call me on tomorrow (which is today now).

Well, the morning goes by and again, I hadn't heard anything from her. So, I decided to shoot her an email basically saying the same thing I did in the voicemail - hours go by and no response. I'm talking it over with myself and even hold Sara up a few times and ask her what to do - she of course was pretty quiet about it and didn't have much to offer. I again decided to call the office at about 3 p.m.

So I call and ask for K and they tell me that she is not in the office today. Well, that explains why I got no return phone call and no reply in to the email. But, I did have her cell phone number and I called that and left a brief message, again basically saying the same thing. Now she probably thinks I'm a stalker but it's imperative that I know what the decision is. Thank God, I do have another interview set up at a different office come Monday.

So what do you think? Is she just ignoring me now? Have they not made a decision after she same as offered me the position on the interview day?

Anyways, I've decided that I'm definitely not calling anymore. 2 times I've left voicemails and 1 on K's cell phone. So I think that is enough. I guess I should just take a hint if I don't hear anything by the end of the day tomorrow. But isn't it just common courtesy to let someone know especially if they are leaving a voicemail????

I'm frustrated and now Shakil isn't so happy considering he thought I had already nailed a job and he comes here in 10 days.

::sigh::

Until later...

Bye for now.